As with Phase 10, Barking Spiders players take turns drawing and discarding cards until someone creates a combination, or "movement." The deck, or "loaf," is made up of “gaseous” and “masseous” cards, along with “feller” cards that allow you “smell” another player's hand (figuratively … and literally if you want). And, of course, the “number one” cards are wild.

The Game

Barking Spiders is as easy to learn as 1, 2, 3, 4, 6. Wait … five.

Basically, think of Gin Rummy, except clumpier.

Barking Spiders Origins

With furrowed brow and grunts of prolonged concentration, Paul, our artist, has sat for hours and hours laboring to push out card designs that truly plumb the depths of this game. You will be proud to display the Barking Spiders box on your coffee table, bookshelf, or bathroom magazine rack—anywhere you spend a lot of time.

Though Paul designed Barking Spiders, it was conceived by Dave when he was only four years old. You see, long ago, the Browning family lived in Taiwan. Though their home was a modern one, complete with indoor plumbing, the community around them was somewhat less developed, being dotted with what Little David thought were small patches of asphalt bordered with a concrete curb.

One day, he was lagging behind his brother and sisters on a walk into town when he came across one of these obstructions. His siblings had walked around it, but Little David wanted to save himself a few steps and strode confidently over the curb and onto the “asphalt.”

The thin crust parted at the touch of his sneaker, and Dave disappeared beneath its surface with a “gloop.”

It was a smelly wind that blew that day, and all of it came from David as his heroic brother pulled him from the depths of a Taiwanese toilet and into the light. That was the last David was to see of his family for several days, as his unholy stench just would. not. abate.

"Why does David smell like a dairy farm?" a cousin asked her mother weeks later. "Did he step in a cow pie?"

After this incident, David has never been able to truly smile.

Of all the pictures we have of Little David, this is the best smile we ever captured.

Decades later, David is finally facing this demon head-on—with a game conceived in stink, developed through anguished exertion, and born to help Little David find peace with the hellish effluvia that scarred his innocent childhood forever.

Please, help Little David smile again. Look with compassion upon this product of his pain, and pledge your support for Barking Spiders.

Testimonials

Look at these handsome people playing Barking Spiders! They’ve been doing it for months as we refined the gameplay and balanced the strategic elements with poop jokes. And, according to the highly sophisticated BM-O-Meter we built in our basement, the game is ready to astound the general public. We also gave early versions to friends and family, and here's what they’re saying.

"My favorite part of the game is when someone at our table said 'check out THIS clumpy movement' and my mom from the other room yells 'what are you guys doing in there?'" - A Neighbor's Kid

"Dude, it's a pandemic! How am I supposed to get my people together for game night? We'll get to it when there's a vaccine." - A Buddy from High School

"Mmm. Anacondas are the best." - An In-Law

"I've had a lot going on, you know. I'll try to get over to my in-laws this weekend. No promises. The cards look great, though." - A Co-Worker

"I don't know, dad, school just started and besides: our game night crew hasn't gotten together since February. No, we can't play outside because the state is burning down and we can't breathe the air. Who did the design? Was that Uncle Paul? Mm-hmm. Well, tell him the design of the cards looks stunning. Anyway, love you." - A Daughter

We want to thank our testers. We hope that school is going well even though it's a pandemic and, seriously, they could still call once in a while. But be safe, testers. Be safe.

This tee could be yours

Pledge Levels

The Barking Spiders game consists of the basic 128-card loaf, which we call The Morning Constitutional, and five brown biscuits. Everyone who pledges to receive a game can sleep well, knowing that Little David’s trauma finally has meaning, and that they’ll have a high-class, sophisticated game to play with their friends when the world goes back to pooping normally again. For higher support levels, we offer a deluxe game that includes laser-engraved birchwood tokens instead of the basic cardboard tokens. These are very nice tokens manufactured by Toasted Maple in Oregon. They have been great to work with and we highly recommend them.

Once our kickstarter gets funded, we can include as many deluxe games as you guys want without worrying about hitting a minimum number.

The main levels are:

There are other levels for people who want multiple versions, but you can take a look at those over on the right.

Thanks to everybody who helped with the development of this game, and thanks to all who are helping to get it off the ground.


In conclusion, here are two reasons you should pledge for Barking Spiders today.

Number 1: The game is a gas and has mass.

Number 2: (cue tender piano music) Little David will smile again.

Paralyzed Kitty says: For when I can't make it to a litter box, I always have a Barking Spiders poster handy.